Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
