A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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