Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
