I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
