so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
