i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
