then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
