ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
