Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
