Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
a search helicopter?!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
