I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They have beer where we have blood.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
