Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
