My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize