ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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