i just google imaged poop.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
