I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
