Where did you get a picture of my penis
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
