I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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