I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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