im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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