So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
