yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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