Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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