He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
