Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
