I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
