According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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