at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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