I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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