I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
MIDGETS
????
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
