so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
