she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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