I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
