Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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