The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
