You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
