Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
