I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
