why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
