Nicole vs. Life
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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