You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
