YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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