why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
