Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
