Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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