I want to walk on stilts...naked
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
