Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
