Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
