So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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