Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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