wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
